“The friends you make in college are friends you'll have for life, even if you don't talk for years at a time.”

“Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations.”

“Why is luge a sport? You dress up like a giant sperm and go sledding really fast. Thats hardly athletic. Phallic and sexy, yes. But hardly athletic.”

“I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them OFF that makes me better than you.”

“Stupid kissing. Stupid roaming hands. Stupid boys.”

“Julie Seagle: I would never in a million years go skydiving.Finn is God: What if I took you?”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”