“But I, when I undress meEach night, upon my kneesWill ask the Lord to bless meWith apple-pie and cheese.”

“All good and true book-lovers practice the pleasing and improving avocation of reading in bed ... No book can be appreciated until it has been slept with and dreamed over.”

“Here we have baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.”

“Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.”

“When I demanded of my friend what viands he preferred He quoth: "A large cold bottle and a small hot bird!"”

“All human joys are swift of wing For heaven doth so allot it That when you get an easy thing You find you haven't got it.”

“Members of Congress are like the voters in one respect -- they want to go with the winners.”

“After Congress passed SJ Res 34, we are no longer merely battling a cyber-kinetic war on all fronts, we are now in a state of perpetual cyber-kinetic-meta war, and there will be no end.”

“...all members of Congress should be required wear NASCAR uniforms. You know, the kind with the patches? That way we'd know who is sponsoring each of them. I think he was kidding; they'd never be a...”