“I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.”

“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”

“The worlds most successful people didnt wait for someone else to pick them, but instead, they picked themselves.”

“Play around. Dive into absurdity and write. Take chances. You will succeed if you are fearless of failure.”

“Want something else more than success. Success is a lovely thing, but your desire to say something, your worth, and your identity shouldnt rely on it, because its not guaranteed and its not permane...”

“In Hollywood, no one knows anything.”

“Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.”

“Well,said Ernest, by some strange coincidence I know this story.Boddichek was not good at irony. I knew that there was that possibility, he said, but we have a great new way to treat it, and I thou...”

“But you know what they say - old milk turns sour but old scores just get sweeter.”

“I'll tend to her as no mother ever tended a child, a daughter. Nobody will ever get my milk no more except my own children. I never had to give it to nobody else--and the one time I did it was took...”

“But you know what they say - old milk turns sour but old scores just get sweeter.”