“Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.”

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”

“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.”

“Justice is the only worship.Love is the only priest.Ignorance is the only slavery.Happiness is the only good.The time to be happy is now,The place to be happy is here,The way to be happy is to make...”

“Be a good human.”

“Our country in general assumes that "the pursuit of happiness" really means "the pursuit of pleasure" and that therefore pleasure is the greatest good.”

“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people-to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole, to see the cause and think it's the effect or vice versa”

“At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear.”

“I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.”

“Words are things. The words he is in possession of he cannot be deprived of. Their authority transcends his ignorance of their meaning.”

“We make out of the quarrel with others, rhetoric, but of the quarrel with ourselves, poetry.”