“Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.”

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”

“Humor is just another defense against theuniverse.”

“I don't care what you say to me. I care what you share with me.”

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone wont either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are...”

“Never knew what a friendship was, Never knew how to really love, You can't be what I need you to, & I don't know why I fuck with you”

“I don't know why it's so hard for people to admit that sometimes they're just assholes who screw up because they don't expect to get caught.”

“You see, the best thing about wrong decisions is that they dont prevent you from making the right decisions later on. Its harder, but its not impossible.”

“Nigeria has divided itself into PDP and APC.The PDP is to go on making mistakes while APC is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.”