“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”

“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.”

“Humor is just another defense against theuniverse.”

“The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't li...”

“I wonder if fears ever really go away, or if they just lose their power over us.”

“Fear is all in the mind”

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that youve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you sa...”

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there i...”