“See, some people politely encourage their tone-deaf friends to sing. Some people even convince them to go on live television and audition for national competitions. But me? I am not that friend.”

“Mom asked for a cupcake miracle? Well, here comes the freaking holy angel of icing, at your service. --”

“I'm not sure if you even want me around or if you just feel sorry for me. I'm not sure of anything.”

“Have some carrots. They're good for your eyes.""Then you have some fries. They're good for your... I don't know. They're just good.”

“I've never met a problem a proper cupcake couldn't fix.”

“Everyone says that the internet is so awesome because you can connect with people from all over the world, but I think its the opposite. The internet doesnt make it easier to connect with anyoneit ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“no, no, it's not all random, if it really was all random, the universe would abandon us completely. and the universe doesn't. it takes care of its most fragile creations in ways we can't see. like ...”

“She was probably the girl I loved the most of all my girlfriends, but also the toughest one to make things work out with. If I had put that much effort into any of my other relationships, I'd be ma...”

“In the world I notice persons are nearly always stressed and have no time. Even Grandma often says that, but she and Steppa don't have jobs, so I don't know how persons with jobs do the jobs and al...”