“See, some people politely encourage their tone-deaf friends to sing. Some people even convince them to go on live television and audition for national competitions. But me? I am not that friend.”

“Mom asked for a cupcake miracle? Well, here comes the freaking holy angel of icing, at your service. --”

“I'm not sure if you even want me around or if you just feel sorry for me. I'm not sure of anything.”

“I've never met a problem a proper cupcake couldn't fix.”

“He turned the entire living room into an airport, complete with a four-foot-high LEGO traffic control tower and a fleet of paper planes, plastic army pilots taped safely into their cockpits. From d...”

“Everyone says that the internet is so awesome because you can connect with people from all over the world, but I think its the opposite. The internet doesnt make it easier to connect with anyoneit ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“The problem isn't finding out where you are gonna go-its figuring out what you are gonna do once you get there that is! (Jamie Sullivan)”

“I would have told you earlier, but as it was your birthday . . . What do you give the man who has everything? I thought Id give you . . . me.He puts the keychain down on the bedside table and snugg...”

“we should live like we smoke inhale the present and exhale the past.”