“One of my relatives invented the sensory deprivation tank. Appropriately, most of my family has never seen or heard of him.”

“When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it.”

“I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?”

“The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with.”

“Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.”

“Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.”

“So I am not a broken heart. I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty an...”

“Theres something about sitting alone in the dark that reminds you how big the world really is, and how far apart we all are. The stars look like theyre so close, you could reach out and touch them....”

“A bachelor, a studio, those were the names for that kind of apartment. Separate entrance it would say in the ads, and that meant you could have sex, unobserved.”

“When the internet came in, Hulaki became a dinosaur.”