“He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. ”

“The money will talk?' said Mr Spools carefully.'Imps,' said Moist. 'They're only a sort of intelligent spell. They don't even have to have a shape. We'll print them on the higher denominations.”

“Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Ju...”

“Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers.”

“You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?""Only a man would think of that.It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first,...”

“Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.”

“I think it is just a matter of getting into the mind of the writer,” Vetinari went on, looking at a letter covered with grubby fingerprints and what looked like the remains of someone’s breakfast. ...”

“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”

“Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?”

“In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.”

“Or was he merely a mollycoddled favorite, enjoying capriciously prejudiced love? Schenback was inclined to believe the latter. Inborn in nearly every artists nature is a voluptuous, treacherous ten...”

“Progress in social psychology is necessary to counteract the dangers which arise from the progress in physics and medicine.”

“From school desks with inkwells and scratchy nibs on paper to sweaty finger prints on a tablet... technology progression yes... style?”