“Fine! He is being passive aggressive with me, and it's gonna backfire; I'm gonna be active friendly.”

“You know your husband truly loves you when he calls you, "Money, I'm home!”

“For me to forgive my ex, he would have to sign a marriage contract with his tears and seal it with his blood.”

“He aimed at the lawyer's heart but missed it. It was a mistrial.”

“An eye for an eye will only make the world bright. Sorry, Mahatma. This is the absolute and only true form of justice.”

“Love and Hate: both are four-lettered and both involve passion. And sometimes when love turns into hate, passion grows murderous.”

“Sometimes what I wouldn't give to have us sitting in a bar again at 9:00 a.m. telling lies to one another, far from God.”

“Am I making something worth while?Im not sure.I write and I sing and I hear words from time to time about my life and choices making ways, into other lives, other hearts,but am I making something w...”

“I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind...”

“Bruce has always been so nice to me, which is crazy, because he's one of my heroes. I'll never forget being at a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony the year Bruce and Paul McCartney were inducted....”

“He wants to use my body, to take advantage, and I want to let him. I want to be someones one night stand, some blithe slut... I want to allow myself to be like all those women I pretended to look d...”

“- Why'd you even think I'd read your diploma before, during, or after buying 10 copies of it in an all-you-can-drink online bar? - If I could drink what I read, I'd probably still be drunk on Joyce...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”