“One of my relatives invented the sensory deprivation tank. Appropriately, most of my family has never seen or heard of him.”

“When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it.”

“I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?”

“The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with.”

“Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.”

“Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.”

“I Have No Sympathy For Gossip Boys & Girls ”

“Aw, so he used you as a penis cozy and then left? Guys are pigs.”

“I didnt say you werent smart. I said you were stupid.I guess Im too dumb to see the difference.”

“It is not because of setbacks that most entrepreneurs do not reach the finishing line, but because of a lack of willpower and motivation.”

“People will think while you can do, go and do it”

“Average is common. Excellence is rare.”