“When blondes have more fun, do they know it?”

“I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.”

“Don't worry. It's scientifically unlikely that the universe will explode into a million particles at any given moment.”

“Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.”

“In my opinion, kissing a lady's hand is a fine tradition. After all, a man must start somewhere.”

“Some people say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. In actuality, you have to make an incision through his skin, both dermis and epidermis, then carefully sever and separate the sternu...”

“It ate a party till someone ends up naked.”

“Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.”

“There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Never Give up, never surrender.”

“Several Terminal Policy readers got together to tell Raker jokes: - Raker CAN piss into the wind. - Raker donates a lot of blood to the Red Cross -- just never his own. - Superman wears Raker paj...”

“There was no one alive who did not contribute his share of mystery to the world.”