25 quotes found
“He's just a flash in the pants.”
“When blondes have more fun, do they know it?”
“It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.”
“I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.”
“I don't need no PMS. I can bitch under my own steam.”
“He's an undersized pissant with delusions of adequacy.”
“Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.”
“Don't worry. It's scientifically unlikely that the universe will explode into a million particles at any given moment.”
“Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.”
“In my opinion, kissing a lady's hand is a fine tradition. After all, a man must start somewhere.”
“Some people say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. In actuality, you have to make an incision through his skin, both dermis and epidermis, then carefully sever and separate the sternu...”
“Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it can get you a nice little villa in Tuscany, and that's close enough for me.”
“Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's.”
“It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.”
“You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet.”
“You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.”
“If it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by th...”
“Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.”
“When in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, "because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead.”
“Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen”
