“The only thing weaker than a toddler's handshake is their immune system.”

“We are all a little weird. And we like to think that there is always someone weirder. I mean, I am sure some of you are looking at me and thinking, Well, at least I am not as weird as you, and I am...”

“There are people who eat only organic food, and then there are people who dont have tons of money to waste.”

“I love the phrase "I have a sweet tooth." I always want to say, "You're ordering it for your tooth? That's interesting, because it's going straight to your butt. I think your butt owed your tooth a...”

“How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? I imagine it was some weird marketing meeting over in France.”

“Each city in the southeastern part of the United States has its own unique type of specialty food that can be only found in that city, and it all happens to be called 'barbecue'.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”

“Mirabelle always ate her lunch on Brighton beach if the weather was in any way passable, but out of sheer principle she never paid tuppence for a chair. We did not win the war to have to pay to sit...”

“When we first get to space, we feel sick. Your body is really confused. You're dizzy. Your lunch is floating around in your belly because you're floating. What you see doesn't match what you feel, ...”

“When I was working on 'Homeland,' there was a consultant who helped me a lot... I went to Washington and met with my consultant there, and he actually organised a lunch with several people from the...”

“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.”

“There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.”

“I don't eat fast food, but I can't live without pizza.”