Quotes by Scott Adams

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“The key to career advancement is appearing valuable despite all hard evidence to the contrary. If you add any actual value to your company today, your career is probably not moving in the right di...”

“Its tempting to imagine happiness as a state of mind caused by whatever is happening in your life. By that way of thinking, were largely victims of the cold, cold world that sometimes rewards our g...”

“You probably think the majority of your crabbiness is caused by the idiots and sociopaths in your life plus your inexplicable bad luck on any given day. Based on a lifetime of observation, my best ...”

“Of the big five factors in happinessflexible schedule, imagination, diet, exercise, and sleepmy pick for the most important is exercise.”

“Youve seen for yourself that when a sad person enters a room, the mood in the room drops. And when you talk to a cheerful person who is full of energy, you automatically feel a boost. Im suggesting...”

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should ...”

“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

“The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.”

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”

“Never use naughtiness in mixed company, unless your witticism is so funny that your audience will shoot tears of happiness out of their eyes with a velocity sufficient to powerwash a small bus. Any...”

“Ask a deeply religious Christian if hed rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless net...”

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”

“By the early-afternoon hours, if your brain is normal, it's running strictly on inertia and reflex. All you can do during those hours are the things that are exactly like other things you've done i...”

“Success caused passion more than passion caused success.”

“Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with low SAT scores. The only differences among us is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend m...”

“The best you can hope for in a relationship is to findsomeone whose flaws are the sort you dont mind. It isfutile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someonewho is capable of significant chang...”