“I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.”

“My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, its absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.”

“When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.”

“All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.”

“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. -General Omar N. Bradley This morning I threw up at a board meeting. I was sure the cat was out of the bag but no one se...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect fo...”

“Of all the bright cruel lies they tell you, the cruelest is the one called love.”

“Don't cry, I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is.”