“The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.”

“Happiness isn't something you experience it's something you remember. ”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.”

“Schizophrenia beats dining alone.”

“There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.”

“I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.”

“Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.”

“Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.”

“It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Work will drive you crazy if you let it.”

“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

“Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punish'd and cured is that the lunacy is soordinary that the whi...”