“because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, “Take your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance.” And then I hung up on him.”

“Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed to the other with a nurse's hat on while your father, who i...”

“youd think that silence would be peaceful. but really, its painful.”

“Quiet descended, a silence so consuming that even the drafty corridors ceased whistling. Bog wasn't certain where to look, so he solved the problem by plucking out his eyes and sticking them in a d...”

“Martin is your best friend, isn't he?' a sweet and well-intentioned girl once said when both of us were present: it was the only time I ever felt awkward about this precious idea, which seemed some...”

“It figured my family would get along better with Clark than they did me.”

“The existence of other people is essentially awkward.”

“You will be the one chosen to reach out to embrace man once again as the heart. So that all will be as it should. Fatu-ma-le-ele-ele You will give your fire so that Man may live. And he will give h...”

“My Dearest Breena, They will remember us. Long after these wars have been mourned and then forgotten long after Summer and Winter fairies lay aside their rancor for one another and forget that the...”

“Her beauty was ethereal, knocking on the door of the part of his psyche that still believed in magic and miracles.”