57 quotes found
“5) The Eyes Are the Windows to Where the Soul Is Supposed to Be”
“It's a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and th...”
“It is a testament to my parents that they never reacted negatively to the four-year-long pride parade that marched through their house.”
“One family, two impressively gay brothers.”
“Because, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I was embraced by the gays. They loved me and praised me. I was funny and so mean and mature for my age!”
“A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what _they_ wear.' His point being that most designers, no matter what they throw onto the runway, favor simple...”
“(Don Fey had a large rubber stamp that said "bullshit," which was and is awesome.)”
“Your father doesn't fucking play games. you would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that house.”
“I find, the fancier the fashion magazine is, the worse the Photoshop. Its as if they are already so disgusted that a human has to be in the clothes, they cant stop erasing human features.”
“Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty to them. ...It was mostly men yelling shit from cars. Are they a patrol sent out to let girls know...”
“There are different types of fancy photographers. Some are big, fun personalities like Mario Testino, who once told me, Lift your chin, darling, you are not eighteen. I enjoyed his honesty. Also, I...”
“There's a Drunk Midget in My HouseAh, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiin...”
“I have a strong urge to lie down and pretend this is not happeninglike the old couple in Titanic.”
“It's one thing to be a wisecracking precocious teen hanging out with twenty-seven year olds.It's another thing to get in the way of a grown man trying to get laid.”
“As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. No, we cant do that. No, thats not in the budget. No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar. W...”
“It was a major and deeply embarrassing teenage revelation. It must be how straight teenage boys feel when they realize those boobs they like have heads attached to them.”
“I would not trade any of these features for anybody elses. I wouldnt trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldnt even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, becaus...”
