Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

“Now, nature, as I am only too aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type w...”

“Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ”

“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.”

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”

“If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.”

“The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.”

“Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.”

“All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.”

“There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.”

“Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum.”

“There's no equivalent to Mozart in writing.”

“If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.”

“Reading is better than life. Without reading, youre stuck with life.”

“I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.”

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

“My favorite animal is steak.”

“People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand there must be a reason for this.”

“I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is t...”

“Polite conversation is rarely either.”