Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

“Andy Warhol made fame more famous.”

“Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”

“If you're going to America, bring your own food.”

“You're only as good as your last haircut.”

“I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.”

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.”

“I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.”

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”

“Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, ...”

“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”

“Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”

“Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.”

“My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting ad...”

“If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.”

“When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.”

“As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.”

“London: A place you go to get bronchitis.”

“Humility is no substitute for a good personality.”

“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”