140 quotes found
Writer · American
American writer
“For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it e...”
“That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.""Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?”
“Lucien, women are wondrous, mysterious, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe. Now go sweep the steps.”
“She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.”
“Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.”
“On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire.”
“You know what? You know what? You know what?' I was waving my finger under her nose. 'You scratched the Son of God. That's your ass, that's what.”
“My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate.”
“Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.”
“Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.”
“It’s sarcasm, Josh.”“Sarcasm?”“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew nam...”
“I love you above all things, even pie.”
“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.”
“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprise...”
“Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit”
“Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate.”
“And I was all, "Don't be gross, you crustacious fuck. You pull that thing out and I'll pepper-spray you until you fry." (You have to be stern with weenie waggers--I've been exposed to on the bus ov...”
“A woman’s magazine quiz:Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, “Was it good for you?”You:a. Say, “God, yes! That was th...”
“Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another African American, when Troy Lee came in and said, "She only speaks Cantonese.""...”
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sor...”
