135 quotes found
“He openned the door that he assumed was the garage only to find himself in the pantry.crap."Um . . . grabbing some Pop-Tarts for the road," Nick said, covering his mistake. Still, they both stared ...”
“I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region.”
“It made her want to have his babies and give him both her kidneys.”
“Fuck, you’ve been to the sex store.”“Sure have.” Josh held up a plastic bag. “Man, that was fun. And by fun, I mean seriously fucking creepy...”
“Why are you staring at my boobs? My face is up here,” Trudy exclaims.Jack, the hotel employees, and I jump back like we’ve been electrocuted while the seniors don’t skip a beat. No. She. Didn’t. Th...”
“When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off.”
“What the—who the—what the fucking fuck?”
“Oh, poor baby,” she said, mimicking his drawl.“Whew. You’re back. There was this other Susie here a minute ago, and she was really nice to me. She scared the shit out of me.”She laughed. “They lock...”
“I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class.”
“It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.”
“Follow my finger." He moved it around, tracking my eye movements. "Any blurred vision?""Well I think I'm hallucinating, because I see a big talking pile of crap." - Joanne Baldwin.”
“It's brain," I said; "pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or something. Do you eat a lot of fish, Jeeves?""No, sir.""Oh, well, then, it's just...”
“Chubi, rhymes with booby, which you don't have, or doodie, which your face looks like," she said smugly, leaning back and making her chair squeak.”
“Shane waved a hand. “Please, we know that all ittakes to get into your pants is a Hot Pocket and aNetFlix rental.”
“Come on," he said. "Bring the poker."I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it.”
