1,564 quotes found
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT" Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
“Maxim 37: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”
“Parent-Teacher ConferenceAt the parent-teacher conference,my father made a scene.He scared my fifth-grade teacher,with his mask from Halloween. She showed him all my science gradesand said she was ...”
“So it's off with the shellsuit and on with the Armanis,Bring out the champagne and the caviar sarnies”
“Thou art hunger, yo. Make with the starvation.”
“Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”
“Manners come down to a single principle, talk of nothing that might actually prove interesting.”
“He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.”
“Either a species learns to control its own population, or something like disease, famine, war, will take care of the issue.”
“The nuisance of her presence outweighs the gratification to be derived from tormenting her”
“Always remember rule #6... don't take yourself so damn seriously”
“Joe: Oo, Brittany "Aren't I Fabulous?" Hobson?Addie: She's not that bad.Joe: Brittany "All the Boys Like Me, I'm so Popular I Could Die" Hobson.Addie: Joe!”
“I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.”
“Strange, isn't it,' mused Glokta as he watched him struggle for air. 'Big men, small men, thin men, fat men, clever men, stupid men, they all respond the same to a fist in the guts. One minute you ...”
“It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions. After eggs ...”
“Intellectual controversies tend to be like dog fights without the teeth, in which the barking not the biting does the damage.”
“Of the 2,639,857 faggots in the New York city area, 2,639,857 think primarily with their cocks.You didn't know that the cock was a thinking organ?Well, by this time, you should know that it is.”
“Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy...”
“I like you but you mightn't feel the same way about me, and I wouldn't blame you. To save us both from any awkward moments I've figured out an easy way to do this. Nod if you're even slightly inter...”
“I am on the divorce detox diet. I only eat younger men”
