“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. No...”

“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."I held up my ar...”

“There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, Id met a girlI mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in...”

“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know, she mumbled. You cant even put your arm around me without tripping up.”

“Douglass fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. Im not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it e...”

“She looked away, trying not to cry. She hated crying, and in public she hated it more.”

“The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't li...”

“I wonder if fears ever really go away, or if they just lose their power over us.”

“Fear is all in the mind”