“Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.”

“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."I held up my ar...”

“There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, Id met a girlI mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in...”

“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know, she mumbled. You cant even put your arm around me without tripping up.”

“Douglass fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. Im not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it e...”

“She looked away, trying not to cry. She hated crying, and in public she hated it more.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

“If I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and t...”

“I'm an Earth ecstatic, and my creed is simple: All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of improving our behavior toward one another. As basic as that is, for me it's also tonic and ...”

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”