“Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.”

“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. No...”

“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."I held up my ar...”

“There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, Id met a girlI mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in...”

“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know, she mumbled. You cant even put your arm around me without tripping up.”

“Douglass fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. Im not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it e...”

“Don't cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you.”

“Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: youre falling to the floor crying ...”

“Weeping is not the same thing as crying. It takes your whole body to weep, and when it's over, you feel like you don't have any bones left to hold you up.”