I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. Here's the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. I see a pair that I like. I don't love them. I don't. I like 'em. $309. And I asked the guy, very politely, How do you sleep at night, ya little prick? [audience cheers] You know what I mean? Always just wonderin'. And I told him--and this is true--that two weeks ago, I bought a 25 color television set from Wal-Mart for $218. And he goes, Well, apparently, sir, you don't get it. ...I'm listenin'. He goes, These glasses block 100% of all UV rays. I'm like, No, apparently you don't get it; this thing decodes a digital satellite signal it picks up from outer-fucking-space! [audience cheers] And then it turned out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead...