“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

“I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.”

“When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!”

“There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup...”

“I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.”

“If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.”

“I don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the me...”

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”

“Earning happiness means doing good and working, not speculating and being lazy. Laziness may look inviting, but only work gives you true satisfaction.”

“I'm bred for farm work, and for such folk, the only A's you get come from effort. Strife and strain are all the world can offer, and they temper you into something unbreakable because Lord knows th...”

“There is never a traffic jam created from people going the extra mile”

“Work hard, put maximum effort, and have a good attitude. Most importantly never give up.”

“I'm into the food in Vegas. I'm willing to go to nice restaurants for sushi and stuff like that.”

“I hadn't been in Vegas 20 minutes when I got word that the bookmakers were offering three to one that Frank wouldn't show for my wedding.”