“Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething.”

“This poor little one-horse town.”

“Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”

“Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?”

“Get your facts first and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.”

“The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance stupidity and perjury.”

“I stood like Adam in his lonely gardenOn that first morning, shaken out of sleep,Rubbing his eyes, listening, parting the leaves,Like tissue on some vast, incredible gift.”

“I love you. It hurts more than anything ever has, but I do. So don't you dare tell me I don't. Don't you ever say it again!”

“Whoever said that the past isn't dead had it backward. It's the future that's already dead, already played out.”

“The man loves you with everything he has, everything he is. Eve, that means you can hurt him.”

“Youre all right, Blue Eyes. She lifted her head to look into them. Youre all right, down the line. You ever want a free bang, you got one coming.It would, no doubt be a memorable bang. But my wife ...”

“People have been sleeping and/or marrying their way to the top since the first cavewoman said: Ugh, that ones the strongest and has the biggest club. Ill shake my mastodon-skin-covered ass at him.U...”