“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relat...”

“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The lastpresent you gave me was a stick.You wanted a weapon.It was a stick.It had a bow on it.It was a stick.I thought you liked the stick. You la...”

“You look angry," he said."You put me on hold.""For a very good reason.""You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.”

“Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”

“If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.”

“Every once in a while, I get the urge. You know what Im talking about, dont you? The urge for destruction. The urge to hurt, maim, kill. Its quite a thing, to experience that urge, to let it wash o...”

“One time, when I was little more than a baby, I was taken to visit my grandmother, who was living in a cottage on a nearly uninhabited stretch of beach in northern Florida. All I remember of this v...”

“A baby is a beautiful, blooming, flower that can smile, sing, and dance.”

“A baby is a symbol of peace, a plot of dreams, a light of hope, and a bundle of joy.”

“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”

“Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?”

“In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.”

“At Christmas our house is like a Donnie and Marie Christmas Special.”

“We were really grown up for our age and it was an incredible special band.”

“It is critical that special counsels have the independence and resources they need to lead investigations.”