“In the beginning Dave and Marlenes relationship had been fantastic. The sex was amazing. There were other good things too of course, but Dave couldn't always remember exactly what they were. But th...”

“The point of tantric sex was supposedly to harness sexual energy to awaken higher consciousness. It was just like yoga, but way more fun.”

“He quite liked dentists waiting rooms. Waiting for dentists was good. Waiting for them was so much better than having them stick metal spikes in your mouth.”

“Mikes brain was hardwired directly into his genitals and most higher functions appeared to have switched themselves off. In other words, he was just like most men.”

“Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.”

“In the beginning Dave and Marlene’s relationship had been fantastic. The sex was amazing. There were other good things too of course, but Dave couldn't always remember exactly what they were. But t...”

“What would you think of an engineer who expounded the art of flying without revealing the secrets of the engine and propeller? That's what you do, you engineer of the human soul. Just that. You're ...”

“He thought he vomited out his soul. If ghosts were made of ectoplasm and ghosts were basically souls without bodies, then it was perfectly logical that the green mess all over the ground was his ec...”

“I dial her mum's number, then sit down cross-legged, facing the wall. When she comes on the line, she sounds uncertain, hesitant. 'Hey! Guess where I am?' I ask, my voice loud with false cheer. 'Ra...”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”