“Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy. ”

“Don't run I never liked fast food”

“Married and buried, wed and dead.”

“Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.”

“He dunked his tea bag and watched the results critically. I really must get a new supplier. This tea is pathetic. America just doesnt understand tea at all.”

“Want to play baseball? she asked. Shanes eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. What? First base, she said. Youre already there. Im not running the bases. Well, you could at least steal sec...”

“Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.”

“She needs you for more than just protection. It's how it works. You want the strong girl, you understand that she's with you because she wants to be. Not because she has to be. You know that, right?”

“In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me.”

“Why do people complain when your crabby but the moment there crabby you tell them to stop moaning they moan so fuckin unreal”

“you can tell a true war story if it embarrasses you. If you don't care for obscenity, you don't care for the truth; if you don't care for the truth, watch how you vote. Send guys to war, they come ...”

“You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it's taking forever to come. Then it happens and it's over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.”

“Romance is the deepest thing in life. It is deeper than reality.”

“when you're a kid, they tell you that it's what's on the inside that counts. Looks don't matter . But that's not true. Guys like Phoebus in The Hunchback, or Dorian, or the old Kyle Kingsbury-- the...”

“Every concept of reality is all in our head, belief is what makes truth.”