“I know every guy here, and theyre all pretty much jerks.”

“Youre supposed to pinch yourself not the one youre dreaming about.”

“Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?”

“Im not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.”

“It was simply a matter of asking him to remove the tie from his head before he made love to her.”

“The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Every great love starts with a great story...”

“I knew, in the silence that followed, that anything could happen here. It might be too late: again, I might have missed my chance. But I would at least know I tried, that I took my heart and extend...”

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.”

“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”

“Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?”

“In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.”