“Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”

“If his mother was drowning and I was drowning and he had to choose one of us to save, He says he'd save me.”

“Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.”

“In history class, I wrote a poem, 'The Royalists and the Roundheads.' I would write poems about driftwood in art class and little stories about the sun, moon, and stars in science class. Since not ...”

“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”

“Close friends contribute to our personal growth. They also contribute to our personal pleasure, making the music sound sweeter, the wine taste richer, the laughter ring louder because they are there.”

“I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm talent and wit. Unfortunately he couldn't be here tonight so instead . . .”

“I do not stand on protocol. If you just call me Excellency it will be okay.”

“The number-one fear in life is public speaking and the number-two fear is death. This means that if you go to a funeral you're better off in the casket than giving the eulogy.”