“I have heard that the French like to say, "Nobody grows old during a happy occasion at the dining table." With such wonderful family and friends all around us for Mitchell's and Stacie's wedding, I...”

“When all else fails, there is music. When that fails you, there is beer.”

“A life that is happy and has no money, is better then a life unhappy with money.”

“Eye Amost Evr Spel Ah Werd Wong Annymoe, sinc eye goat alto pel”

“Be careful when you ask Karma for something that you have always wanted. When I was young, I asked to be surrounded by beautiful women. Now I have a wife and four daughters.”

“Women. You have to love them the way they are or they'll drive you insane.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Those who work, knows the strength of labour.”

“I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the cove...”

“I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in p...”

“Money changes people. This process is more commonly known as trading.”

“To my fellow authors heed these words with much importance, " It is redundant for a true writer to sell their soul for literary fame, since the soul is a writer's inner voice...”

“There is always room in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)”