“It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”

“Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.”

“Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.”

“The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.”

“The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon ...”

“On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.”

“work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”

“Happiness [is] only real when shared”

“That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.”

“You should not think on a small scale”

“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”

“It doesn't sound that cool to say it, but I still get nervous for any show. But it's different degrees - playing a small basement of a club versus playing a festival like Firefly or Bonnaroo. The f...”

“I dont want any of this. I just want to be what I was before you showed up here and all hell broke loose. I want to be popular and dating the hottest guy in school. Now Im none of those things, and...”

“The prisoners of the cultures are mostly the women! House is the name of the prison!”

“Our own place is mall perhaps, but when your old man is eaten by his own shadow, you realise that maybe in every house, something so savage and sad and brilliant is standing up, without the world e...”