“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.”

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.”

“I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

“She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.”

“Except for cases that clearly involve a homicidal maniac, the police like to believe murders are committed by those we know and love, and most of the time they're right - a chilling thought when yo...”

“Where's your sense of adventure?It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.-Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn”

“Some writers aren't writers, they are mere escapees' and refugees' on an exile from the jungle of thoughts.”

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me li...”

“I've got about ten things to say to you right now. But at least nine of them would make me sound like a psycho.In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I nearly smiled. Whats the tenth thing? ...”

“A truly happy woman drives some men and almost every other woman absolutely crazy”

“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”

“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

“sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love”