“I've had great success being a total idiot. ”

“People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.”

“Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.”

“I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.”

“I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a co...”

“If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.”

“I am not saying that Hitler was a choir boy. But I am saying, let him who was innocent in the Second World War cast the first stone.”

“Who I am as a guitarist is defined by my failure to become Jimi Hendrix.”

“Pride is ugly. It says, 'If you succeed, I am a failure.'”

“Smart Technology is making us stupid.”

“Smart is what you learn from others. Wise is what you learn from yourself.”

“You looked a little bit smarter when your stupidity lessened a lot.”

“World is not like what you see”

“What you see is what suffices you”

“...when they look at me, I so badly want to be who they see.”