“I've had great success being a total idiot. ”

“I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.”

“Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.”

“I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.”

“I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a co...”

“If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.”

“I am not saying that Hitler was a choir boy. But I am saying, let him who was innocent in the Second World War cast the first stone.”

“Who I am as a guitarist is defined by my failure to become Jimi Hendrix.”

“Pride is ugly. It says, 'If you succeed, I am a failure.'”

“I have decided to stick to love...Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

“The opposite of love is not hate, its apathy, when you simply don't bother about that person!”

“I am the perfect version of me.”

“But if you tame me, then weshall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, Ishall be unique in all the world.”

“I don't want the world to keep turning without me on it.”