“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

“I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.”

“When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!”

“There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup...”

“I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.”

“Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.”

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

“If I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and t...”

“I'm an Earth ecstatic, and my creed is simple: All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of improving our behavior toward one another. As basic as that is, for me it's also tonic and ...”

“Dont feel ashamed of working hard! Believe that things will change.”

“Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged. Things will work out.”

“Hearts will break and people will hurt you, darling. Her mother said. But when you let those people control your outlook on the life, you only allow them to have a greater hold on your happiness. O...”