“I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,”

“Zoo-Wee Mama!”

“I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.”

“Greg starts a middle school and asks: Whyis "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And sayspeople need to shave twice a day.”

“I think it's important for me to keep my childhood friends so that later on someone can appreciate how far I've come.”

“You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”

“Why, I've been all over the world, I tell you, and fairly loafed and lolled in every conceivable sort of ease and luxury, but the Soul of methe wild, restless, breathless, discontented soul of mene...”

“In joined hands there is still some token of hope, in the clinched fist none.”

“Touch with your heart more than with your hands.”

“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

“The worst kind of oppression is when the victims think and talk in the language of their oppressors.”

“A random act of kindness, no matter how small, can make a tremendous impact on someone else's life.”

“no, no, it's not all random, if it really was all random, the universe would abandon us completely. and the universe doesn't. it takes care of its most fragile creations in ways we can't see. like ...”

“She was probably the girl I loved the most of all my girlfriends, but also the toughest one to make things work out with. If I had put that much effort into any of my other relationships, I'd be ma...”

“In the world I notice persons are nearly always stressed and have no time. Even Grandma often says that, but she and Steppa don't have jobs, so I don't know how persons with jobs do the jobs and al...”