“I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,”

“I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.”

“Greg starts a middle school and asks: Whyis "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And sayspeople need to shave twice a day.”

“I think it's important for me to keep my childhood friends so that later on someone can appreciate how far I've come.”

“You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”

“I can't divorce myself from my childhood. I try to write as much fiction as I possibly can, but there are so many things that are touchstones of my childhood like being on the swim team and playing...”

“Selling my soul would be a lot easier if I could just find it.”

“Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.”

“I may never be happy, but tonight I am content. Nothing more than an empty house, the warm hazy weariness from a day spent setting strawberry runners in the sun, a glass of cool sweet milk, and a s...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“From the moment you realize, I am the most worthless person in this world; you become valuable.”

“No matter what the other person says, then take the bottom line out of it, everything in this world is vyavasthit [result of scientific circumstantial evidences]. So dont tell anyone, you did wrong...”

“To discover the exact location of a 'thing' is a simple matter of factual research. To discover the exact location of a person: where to locate the self?”