“I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,”

“Zoo-Wee Mama!”

“I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.”

“Greg starts a middle school and asks: Whyis "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And sayspeople need to shave twice a day.”

“I think it's important for me to keep my childhood friends so that later on someone can appreciate how far I've come.”

“You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

“This is where it all begins. Everything starts here, today.”

“He is beauty, inside and out.He is the silver lining in a world of darkness.He is my light.”

“The Sun is the light of the day.”

“As I discover, everyday is an adventure...so do what ever the Spirit tells you..don't do things out of drudgery or obligation...each day will unfold as it should...stay restful and try not to be in...”

“We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For o...”

“The teachers complain that the students today are all lazy, ignorant, and stupid. But the truth is that you're smarter than they are. You're not even old enough to drive and you already know that n...”

“I told her about school and how I sat on a wall there and felt stories and words move through me ...”