“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

“I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.”

“When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!”

“There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup...”

“I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.”

“Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.”

“The worlds most successful people didnt wait for someone else to pick them, but instead, they picked themselves.”

“Play around. Dive into absurdity and write. Take chances. You will succeed if you are fearless of failure.”

“Want something else more than success. Success is a lovely thing, but your desire to say something, your worth, and your identity shouldnt rely on it, because its not guaranteed and its not permane...”

“Lost Time is never found again.”

“How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever.”

“Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.”

“I have long thought that anyone who does not regularly - or ever - gaze up and see the wonder and glory of a dark night sky filled with countless stars loses a sense of their fundamental connectedn...”

“I met Ashley two weeks before I married him. It was a joke-the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. Once I was married, I didn't want to be a failure, so I stuck it out for six months, which was a...”

“There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not.”