“See, Im a great believer in the power of negative thought. And in an age of affirmation, of self-help and self-love, of the rebirth of wide-eyed idealism and the power of positive thinking Im happ...”

“And I thought, yknow, I meanthis is crazy. I mean, the only thing that determines what country you belong to is where you happened to be born? What is a country, anyway? Its not, yknow, purple moun...”

“so thats why Im pleased to announce my endorsement of Sarah Palin for President in 2016: because you know that whoever gets elected is going to fuck you over. So why not vote for somebody that you ...”

“Okay. Im not a white male. At least, not predominantly so. And as I mentioned before, Im in an environment right now where race is really important. See, Chinese men are not that physically intimid...”

“INDECISION NOW!' isnt a battle cry thats going to rouse anybodys blood. But I sometimes wonder if it isnt the sanest one.”

“There is nothing worse than certainty. Doubt makes us weak. That is why its so important. Ive wasted too much of my life trying to be powerful.”

“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husbands murder.”

“Except for cases that clearly involve a homicidal maniac, the police like to believe murders are committed by those we know and love, and most of the time they're right - a chilling thought when yo...”

“Where's your sense of adventure?It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.-Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn”

“I need a favour.I raise my eyebrows at him in disbelief. What makes him think Im about to do him a favour? Hes a stranger. And hes wearing handcuffs.”

“Most people are like sheep. Nice, harmless creatures who want nothing more than to be left alone so they can graze. But then of course there are wolves. Who want nothing more than to eat the sheep....”

“What did you do before? I used to run a lot.Cross country? Track?From the cops, actually.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”