“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. ”

“But it is not always the people who say most who do most.”

“What good is money if it can't buy happiness?”

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”

“Poirot," I said. "I have been thinking.""An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.”

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”

“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”

“Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?”

“In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.”