“I think the last thing you should do to someone willing to put your penis in their mouth is give them criticism.”

“You're a man, man. That means seeing two rocks on the ground that kind of look like tits will arouse you.”

“I didn't let what I wanted to do become a made up memory that I looked back on years down the road and wished it was real.”

“Honestly, if I stay on this gruelling path, I'm going to end up as another suicide statistic.”

“I must have appeared like a real bad boy in Christy's eyes. Well, at least a bad boy by home and away standards.”

“It wasn't a glorious or grand act of misadventure but it was a start. It wasn't what I should have done but it was what I truly wanted to do.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”