“I bring the girl to a museum, try to show her a little culture, and she turns a Chihuly into a giant phallus.”

“You should seriously get a job planning dates for The Bachelor.”

“Free drinks have no carbs.”

“If you’re going to be a dickhead, at least have the courtesy of doing it while I have a drink in my hand so I can throw it in your face!”

“I think you still love me, but we cant escape the fact that Im not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So Im not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. Im not angry, eithe...”

“I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT...Goodbye.”

“Sometimes you want to say, I love you, butYet the but takes away the I love you. In love their are no buts or ifs or when. Its just there, and always. No beginning, no end. Its the condition-less s...”

“I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.”

“Well?" Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?"Harry considered it for a moment. "Wet," he said truthfully.Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard ...”

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each others personalities. Who wouldnt? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But thats not the clever trick. The ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”